What is Love? Oh Baby Don't Hurt Me, Don't Hurt Me No More
Many of you know that I've been very frustrated in the love department lately - I do & don't want a boyfriend at the same. I feel lonely, yet I don't want one to hold me back when I graduate next year, especially since I want to go away for awhile to teach english overseas...I don't want reason to not follow through with that. Yet at the same time, I want someone to share experiences with.
However, I've seen so many problems in relationships occur, mainly since I started uni 3 1/2 years ago when they've been more prominent (a lot of my friends & I didn't really have serious partners in high school):
- starting with my ex-boyfriend. He said the L-word SIX DAYS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP, and then proceeded to cheat on me with his ex-gf a month later. That hurt at the time, and now I'm just like WTF?
- two of my best friends who were engaged, then had relationship problems for awhile, then one of them cheated on the other. This just recently happened, and they considered getting back together, but they ended up not. Now they're going to be friends, which is good b/c they have to live together for 6 months more.
- my uncle. He & my (former) aunt were married for 25 years, but he (& the rest of us) found out in 2004 that she'd been having an affair FOR SIX F**KIN YEARS!!
- one of my other really good friends. She really liked this guy, and he liked her, but he wasn't ready to break up with his girlfriend yet for her. So they fooled around, and even ended up sleeping together once, but he still wouldn't dump his girlfriend for her. We told her that he wasn't worth it, and he was a jackass, and she's given up on him (thankfully!) but still hurting a bit from it.
- an online friend whose boyfriend apparently decided that he just stopped loving her.
- A friend of a friend died this past weekend, walking home at night with her boyfriend, when a van didn't see them and took her out. It was the boyfriend who had suggested they walk, then he sees this happen.
- A guy in my grade in high school committed suicide, and I had known/been friends with his girlfriend for years. I couldn't imagine the pain she went through either, similar to the boyfriend above.
All these experiences make getting a boyfriend very discouraging. And yet, at the same time, I see my parents who have been together for over 35 years, and don't go through *too* many problems (yes, they have ups & downs, but what marriage doesn't?) I see my sister & brother-in-law, who just had a baby - a product of their love. I see that old couple, down the street, who just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. And those make me think that it is worth it. But so many marriages nowadays end in divorce, or I have friends whose parents *should* be separated but aren't. Are the chances of pain, and suffering, and loss worth the risk?
I guess the question still stands: "is it better to have love and lost, then never to have loved at all?"
Hmm...maybe I should just become a nun........
However, I've seen so many problems in relationships occur, mainly since I started uni 3 1/2 years ago when they've been more prominent (a lot of my friends & I didn't really have serious partners in high school):
- starting with my ex-boyfriend. He said the L-word SIX DAYS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP, and then proceeded to cheat on me with his ex-gf a month later. That hurt at the time, and now I'm just like WTF?
- two of my best friends who were engaged, then had relationship problems for awhile, then one of them cheated on the other. This just recently happened, and they considered getting back together, but they ended up not. Now they're going to be friends, which is good b/c they have to live together for 6 months more.
- my uncle. He & my (former) aunt were married for 25 years, but he (& the rest of us) found out in 2004 that she'd been having an affair FOR SIX F**KIN YEARS!!
- one of my other really good friends. She really liked this guy, and he liked her, but he wasn't ready to break up with his girlfriend yet for her. So they fooled around, and even ended up sleeping together once, but he still wouldn't dump his girlfriend for her. We told her that he wasn't worth it, and he was a jackass, and she's given up on him (thankfully!) but still hurting a bit from it.
- an online friend whose boyfriend apparently decided that he just stopped loving her.
- A friend of a friend died this past weekend, walking home at night with her boyfriend, when a van didn't see them and took her out. It was the boyfriend who had suggested they walk, then he sees this happen.
- A guy in my grade in high school committed suicide, and I had known/been friends with his girlfriend for years. I couldn't imagine the pain she went through either, similar to the boyfriend above.
All these experiences make getting a boyfriend very discouraging. And yet, at the same time, I see my parents who have been together for over 35 years, and don't go through *too* many problems (yes, they have ups & downs, but what marriage doesn't?) I see my sister & brother-in-law, who just had a baby - a product of their love. I see that old couple, down the street, who just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. And those make me think that it is worth it. But so many marriages nowadays end in divorce, or I have friends whose parents *should* be separated but aren't. Are the chances of pain, and suffering, and loss worth the risk?
I guess the question still stands: "is it better to have love and lost, then never to have loved at all?"
Hmm...maybe I should just become a nun........
posted by Jill at
5:58:00 a.m.
4 Comments:
Hey jill.....some of those stories are tragic. Very very sad circumstances. They are the extreme versions though, i believe there is more to gain loving someone than not ever. You just have to trust your judgement as to who to trust and open up to. Ive had horrible judgement in the past, and ive now got it down to a science..lol. =) Just like my post, im confused! But in the end, love is a great thing....and its worth waiting for. Later jill,
Sophie
By
Anonymous, at 6:12 a.m.
HI jill
The National Geographic article is actually the Feb. issue. The full article is pretty detailed but I can't find the full story online. The NG website has somestuff on it.
http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0602/feature2/index.html
have a great weekend gal!
By
Anonymous, at 9:42 a.m.
Hey Sophie. You're right...they are extreme, and there is a lot to gain. It can just be frustrating though :S
Thanks Lou - I'll check it out. Do you have a subscription to NG then?
By
Jill, at 12:34 p.m.
nah, magazines can be found for free at my local library.
and a nice library too. It has a fire place!! I kid you not!
By
Anonymous, at 1:54 p.m.
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